| Commencement Speakers for Graduation Day | |||||
Jon Stewart is a New Jersey-born comedian. He attended university at The College of William & Mary and graduated from there with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology in 1984. Of his time spent at this college, Stewart has been quoted as saying, "I was miserable there." So one wonders why would the college invite this famous alumni to be their featured Commencement Speaker in 2004? Hmmmm. He's famous, successful, funny and all the college kids love him! If you achieve money and success, then all will be forgiven and you too can give the speech at your alma mater! Take a look at the most famous dropout in the world, Bill Gates and his 2007 visit to Harvard University! Funnyman Jon Stewart struggled early in his career (duh, who didn't?). He tried a little stand up comedy. He tried a little acting. He tried a little writing and he tried a little guest-hosting for talk shows. But he really hit the big payday when the cable television network, Comedy Central cast him in his own daily spoof newscast, "The Daily Show". Everything clicked for Stewart with this program, from the free rein he was given by network executives, to the team of writers he was able to hire, to [and this is really critical to understanding his success], the completely surreal and devastating world political events that have delivered such delicious fodder to his front door each and every day, sometimes multiple times within the hour. The featured graduation speech he gave to the students and William & Mary, on the occasion of his own 20th College Reunion (do you think his class used our College Reunion Ideas) was filled with classic Jon Stewart: acerbic punches delivered by a sugar coated fist. To the right, we have featured some of the best excerpts from his 2004 candy! |
Thank you Mr. President, I had forgotten how crushingly dull these ceremonies are. When I am not on television, this is actually how I dress. When I think back to the people that have been in this position before me from Benjamin Franklin to Queen Noor of Jordan, I can’t help but wonder what has happened to this place. Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don’t really know to put this, so I’ll be blunt. We broke it. Please don’t be mad. We declared war on terror—it’s not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I’m sure we’ll take on that bastard ennui. I know six of you are trying to figure out how to make a bong out of your caps. As a freshman I was quite a catch. Less than five feet tall, yet my head is the same size it is now. Didn’t even really look like a head, it looked more like a container for a head. I looked like a Peanuts character. Peanuts characters had terrible acne. But what I lacked in looks I made up for with a repugnant personality. In 1981 I lost my virginity, only to gain it back again on appeal in 1983. See college is not necessarily predictive of your future success. And it’s the kind of thing where the path that I chose obviously wouldn’t work for you. For one, you’re not very funny. So how do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? And the honest answer is this. You won’t. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience. So if there’s any real advice I can give you it’s this. College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don’t worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency which I imagine, after going through the program here, is quite strong… |
Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. I was in New York on 9-11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down, I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city, “You’ve got to get back to normal. We’ve got to show that things can change and get back to what they were.” And one day I was coming out of my building, and on my stoop, was a man who was crouched over, and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized, he was playing with himself. And that’s when I thought, “You know what, we’re gonna be OK.”
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• All Party Themes |
| Great Graduation Speakers and the Stories Behind Them: |
BYU - Dick Cheney |
Drury University- Bob Barker |
Harvard - Bill Gates |
Kenyon College - David Gregory |
Georgetown - Ken Burns |
Yale - Thomas Friedman I |
Yale - Thomas Friedman II |
Graduation Speaker - Bill Cosby |
William & Mary - Jon Stewart |
Stanford - Steve Jobs |
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